Sunday, September 18, 2011

Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor

Our boys are fond of telling all kinds of outrageous stories about the hardships inflicted upon them by their parents when they were growing up--yes, telling lies about us (or bearing false witness against us, to put it in Biblical terms). These are some of the doozies they've come up with over the years:

1. When they got holes in the knees of their Catholic grade school uniform trousers or gym sweatpants, we made them go around with patches sewn on them for the rest of the year instead of buying them new pants. (Actually, my bad: that one is true.)

2. They had to start mowing the lawn when they were still in diapers. (A bald-faced lie: they didn't start mowing until they were about eight years old--see yesterday's post for more on this subject.)

3. When they were in grade school, the white oxford button-down uniform shirts we made them wear were actually pink, because they were passed down so many times--and had worn so thin from a million washings--that their skin showed through the fabric. (Oops...true again.)

4. Before they started high school, they had to go to bed at 6:30 every night--even in the summer, when it was still light out and they could hear the sounds of the other kids on the street merrily playing outside through their open bedroom windows. (What a lie! they were allowed to stay up until 7:30 or 8:00, at least!)

5. Everyone else's parents--except the parents of my poor, deprived children--let their kids have their own computers and video game systems in their bedrooms. (I'm pretty sure this is a lie; but if it isn't...yay for us! My husband and I made our boys play their games and surf the web in plain sight, in shared family spaces.)

6. We were the only parents--the ONLY ones--who didn't buy our kids their own cars as soon as they turned 16 and got their driver's licences. (Again, I believe this is a lie; but if it's not, that's fine with us! If they thought this complaint would soften our resolve not to cave, they couldn't be wronger; our resolve was only strengthened!)

Remember the 8th Commandment my beloved sons, and never tell lies (especially about your dear old mom and dad--need I remind you of Commandment #4?). I'm sure that my perfect, angelic, innocent little granddaughters will never even think of bearing false witness against their parents!

(Oh, and in case you missed the Notre Dame game yesterday: the Fighting Irish had their first win, after starting out the season a dismal 0-2. They beat Michigan State 31-13. True story. Would I lie to you?)

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