Little St. Julian Mary Pearl, Pray for Us!

Please keep our oldest son, his sweet wife, and their five children in your prayers today.  This afternoon, there is going to be a burial service for a child whom our daughter-in-law miscarried about two weeks ago.  It was too early on in the pregnancy to determine the sex of the baby; therefore, they have chosen the name Julian Mary, since Julian is a saint's name that can be used by either a boy or a girl.  And of course it's always a good idea to add Our Blessed Mother's name as a middle name.

This tragic loss follows much too closely on the heels of their loss of Liguori Mary last May.

I don't know why some lives are snuffed out "too soon" or "before their time," as people often put it (as if we mere mortals can possibly know the best time for a life to end). But I do know that God has a plan for each and every life, no matter how short, and that those two precious babies (who join two others who also went straight to God's arms some years ago, before they could be held by their parents) lived exactly as long as they were meant to live.  They accomplished the purpose God had for them and then went home to Him. They will never be forgotten; and I can only imagine how joyous it will be when their siblings and their mom and dad are reunited with them in Heaven.

I am comforted by the image of these four wee saints, four powerful intercessors, looking out for the loving family of which they are just as much a part as the four sisters and one brother who live and breathe on this earth.   I know that their Papa and I will remember them every day for the rest of our lives, and we will speak their names aloud as we recite our intentions during our daily prayers and Rosaries. 

Please keep this faith-filled couple, who trust completely in God's plan for their family and have accepted their losses with extraordinary grace, and their children (especially the four girls, tender-hearted "mothers" who so wanted another baby to love on) in your prayers, as they mourn this tragic loss.  Thank you!

St. Julian of Norwich, pray for us!  O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee!  And St. Julian Mary Pearl, pray for us!

Little Saint Liguori Mary Pearl, Pray for Us!

I am sad to report that our oldest son's wife suffered a miscarriage on May 9, which was the day before Mother's Day in this year of Our Lord 2020 and also my beloved late father-in-law's birthday.  The baby she was carrying was at about 12-13 weeks gestation but in all likelihood had expired in the womb weeks earlier.

This family-oriented, hardworking, loving couple, whose Faith is strong and true, have five healthy children living on this earth.  With the loss of this pre-born child, they now also have three little saints in Heaven interceding for them, and for all of us.

As they were unable to determine whether the baby was a boy or a girl, the grieving parents have decided to name this perfect little soul Liguori Mary--a name which would work in either case.

Our son and his wife are working with A Mom's Peace, a lay apostolate that offers help with burial and remembrance ceremonies for couples who have been devastated by miscarriage or stillbirth (and arrangements have been made to have the baby buried in a church cemetery tomorrow).   We became familiar with this wonderful organization last year in August, when our second-born and his wife experienced the tragic loss of their fourth child at about 15-16 weeks gestation.

We are indeed living in the Valley of Tears, are we not?  There are tragedies and losses that seem impossible to endure, and yet we do.  But we have Our Father in Heaven, the Blessed Mother and Her Beloved Son, and the Communion of Saints (who have been joined by Liguori Mary Pearl) helping us.  Loving us.  Waiting for us to meet them in Heaven one day, when our time comes.  And oh, what a joyful reunion it will be!  I imagine these never-met grandchildren of ours, these wee souls--spotless, pure, innocent, and filled with light--welcoming their parents home someday, and it brings tears to my eyes.  I hope that I will get to see them, too!

Please keep our boy and his wife, who have fulfilled their wedding vows with perfect faith, trust, and obedience, in your prayers as they cope with their loss.  Thank you!

St. Alphonsus Liguori, pray for us!  O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee!  And St. Liguori Mary Pearl,  pray for us!

A Tiny Saint for the Pearl Family

I was scrolling my Instagram feed this morning and saw via a post from one of the Catholic accounts I follow that today, Oct. 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  This hits really close to home in our family right now, sadly, because in late August our second oldest son and his wife lost the baby she was carrying.  They had gotten past the first trimester mark, and therefore were assuming that all would be okay and looked forward to the February birth of a new sibling for their three young sons.  But tragically, at 16 weeks (which is considered "late" for miscarriage), they found out at a routine OB appointment that the baby no longer had a heartbeat.

This little angel, the youngest of our 17 grandchildren (counting the two currently in utero who--God willing--will be joining us in October and November) was brought forth into the world on the Feast of St. Monica.  The kids decided that if genetic testing determined the baby was a girl, they would name her Monica; and if the baby was a boy, they thought they might name him Augustine, after St. Monica's sainted son.

Our daughter-in-law Ginger's father found a wonderful organization called A Mom's Peace, described as "a lay apostolate for mothers of miscarried and stillborn souls."  This group gifted the grieving parents a miniature handcrafted wooden casket for their baby's tiny body, as well as wee hand-knitted and hand-sewn garments and a blanket to bury him or her in.  Knowing that our daughter-in-law has a nephew battling leukemia, they chose purple--which is often used to symbolize this fight--as the accent color for these precious items.

The little knitted hearts were given out to family members as keepsakes, so they would each have some yarn

from the little blanket that had been made for the baby.

There was a prayer service and burial in a small church graveyard where other tiny preborn and stillborn souls are buried.  One day, there will also be a small headstone for the final resting place of the precious little one we now know was a girl and who has been given the name Monica Mary.

Life is indeed a series of ups and downs, of ecstatic highs and unbearable lows, and never was this more apparent than during this difficult time in our kids' lives.  The burial for this tiny Pearl saint was on Tuesday, Sept. 3, and my husband and I flew back from South Bend, IN (where we had stopped on our way out to MI for our youngest son's wedding on Sept. 7) to attend the burial service.  The next day, we flew back out to South Bend to get our car and drove from there on to MI.  By Friday, we were hosting a rehearsal dinner.  And on Saturday, our fifth-born son was married to a beautiful Catholic girl in a beautiful Catholic church.  That was a week of so many conflicting emotions.

Due to how recent the miscarriage was, and to some health complications Ginger suffered afterward (just days before the wedding), our second-oldest son and his family were not able to make the trip to MI--which everyone completely understood, of course.  We missed them, but obviously there was no other choice they could make.

The wedding day was so joyful (and I do plan to blog about it very soon).  Somehow, I was able to compartmentalize my feelings--something I am rarely able to do--and focus solely on the beaming bride and groom and the celebration of their sacramental union for the duration of the weekend.  But when we got into the car to drive back home to VA after the wedding festivities, the weight of my emotions got the best of me and there were many tears.  Some of them were those happy mama tears, thinking about the sweet lyrics of the song my baby chose for the mother-son dance, and what a good boy he is, and how happy I am that he found his better half; but many of them were sad tears, knowing that another son and his wife were hurting and there was little I could do to help ease their pain.

Never having gone through the experience myself, I asked a friend (who'd also lost a baby to late miscarriage, 30 years ago) what we could do for them. She said the ministry work that A Mother's Peace did to honor the baby's short life was going to help so much, and the fact that sweet little Monica Mary was given a holy and dignified burial would give her parents much comfort in the years ahead.  They will always miss her, she said.  Out of the blue, they will be hit with feelings of crippling sadness.  But time, she assured me, will be a great healer.

I talk to Monica Mary now, especially when I'm worried about her parents.  I believe that in her our family has a powerful intercessor in Heaven.  Genetic testing revealed that the baby was a girl, but it did not reveal any identifiable reason for her untimely death; I can only surmise that God needed and wanted her with Him now, rather than later.  She was just too good to stay here with us in the valley of tears.

Dear St. Monica Mary, pray for us!

I must make an addendum to this post:

We actually have 19 grandchildren, including those in utero.  Our oldest son and his wife lost two babies to miscarriage some years back, both very early in the first trimester.  They do not know the sex of these babies, but have given them the names Philomena and Augustine.  So we actually have three little Pearl saints and one day hope to meet them all!