Retirement Life

My husband always hoped to retire early from his job as a commercial airline pilot.  His original plan was to stop working at 57, in 2015, when the youngest of our five sons graduated from college.  God (and the airline he worked for) had other plans, however: when his company had to file for bankruptcy in 2005, it meant a painful pay cut for him and loss of his pension, and he realized that in all likelihood, he was now looking at working until mandatory retirement at age 65.

We have been among the luckiest, though, and we know it; his airline bounced back and he was steadily employed there for 32 years.  He was never furloughed (although there were a few times during his flying career where that possibility looked imminent and we were ready to sell our house and downsize if we had to--thankfully, we never did). But as I said, we were among the lucky ones.  It was not always a perfect job, but it was a very good one.  It afforded us the opportunity to give all of our sons a K-12 Catholic education, and for me to be a full-time SAHM and tend to the home fires while he traveled around the world, sacrificing much-cherished time at home with his beloved family in order to support us.

His early retirement in September of 2020 came about as a direct result of the Covid-19 pandemic.  That black cloud--with all the storms it stirred up in its wake--had an unexpected silver lining for us.

My favorite pilot and all-around favorite human, who had been flying almost exclusively to Tel Aviv in recent years, bid Rome trips for February of 2020 and was thrilled when he got them.  In his decades of international travel, Rome was far and away his favorite city in Europe.  We had taken a week-long vacation-of-a-lifetime to bella Roma in March of 2019; now, he hoped that I would be able to accompany him on at least one or two of his five working trips that month--maybe more, if I could tear myself away from the grandkids.  I ended up going on two of them.  They were four-day trips, meaning one day to fly over, two days of layover, and another day to fly back.  Four-day trips are much better than the more common three-day trips for bringing along your spouse, because on those you have to cram your sightseeing into one layover day. 

Both of those bonus Rome trips were positively magical and provided me with memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I almost didn't go on that second Rome trip.  It seemed almost decadent to me, jetting off to Italy every other week. My guy had to be in that cockpit, it was his job; I didn't have to be in a business class seat, drinking champagne, eating four-course meals, and watching movies--that just made me spoiled rotten!  And I've always been a bit of a white-knuckle flyer, there's that, too: I had mostly gotten over my fear, from years of frequent airplane trips to see my kids and grandkids; but now that we've settled in VA and so many of them live nearby, I rarely fly anywhere anymore.  I overcame my hesitation, however, and now I am so grateful that I did.  If I could have looked ahead and seen what was about to happen, I might have even tried to tag along with him on one or two more of those Rome trips.

That last month of getting to travel to his favorite city--and even to take me with him a couple of times--was a generous parting gift after a long and satisfying career...because after that, my husband's flying days ended without any fanfare whatsoever.  You all know what happened in March of 2020: lockdowns started, and all overseas flights were cancelled.  And then in April, flights were cancelled again. In May, same thing... My husband was still an employed pilot, but all of his trips were cancelled month after month, and he was at home with me.  We used his time off to do a big DIY project and finished off our basement.  Then in September of 2020, my husband took an early retirement package offered by his airline.  Fewer flights meant that they needed fewer pilots, and he decided to leave so that some less senior pilot might be able to keep his job.  He was ready.  He didn't quite make his original plan of retiring at 57; but he got to retire earlier than he had expected, at 62.

  

So we are officially in an entirely new phase of life.   And we're loving it.  He is one happy retiree, and though he enjoyed what he did for a living, he doesn't look back and he doesn't miss working.  There are some gray areas in our lives, but retirement is not one of them.  

The gray is mostly on our heads, and I'm really starting to catch up with my silver fox.

My advice to anyone out there who is currently in the childrearing phase is this: of course you and your spouse should center your life around making a happy and secure home for the children God gives you; but remember to put your marriage first, not your children. It seems selfish, but it is just the opposite.  If you do, your kids will benefit from it. A strong marriage is the healthiest thing you can give them. They will see what a sacramental union looks like and will strive to recreate it as adults, and then their children will benefit as well. And when your children are all grown and gone and have families of their own, you will not look at your spouse and say, "What do we do now?"  If you haven't put your relationship on the back burner for the decades you were raising your offspring, you will be as happy and fulfilled as ever in your empty nest, enjoying the fruits of your hard work over the years with the only other person on earth who really knows what you've been through to get where you are now--and the only other person on earth who can possibly love your children as much as you do.

Anyway, we're both loving the retirement life.  We're loving the Papa-and-Grammy life.  The only hard thing about the season we're in now is the realization that, um...we aren't exactly spring chickens anymore!  

HOWEVER--

Last week I celebrated my 63rd birthday.  And my kids surprised me with the greatest gift ever: a 20-minute YouTube video that they'd put together.  It started with little videotaped messages from all the grandkids and then all of our boys and their wives, and it moved on to hundreds of photos from my extraordinarily, undeservedly full and blessed life--from when I was a little girl right up until our recent family get-together at the lake.  It made me laugh out loud at times and cry at others.  It made me feel like the luckiest wife/mother/grandmother--the luckiest person!--on earth.  And it made me feel very loved indeed.

So retirement, and growing older...hey, it's not so bad. In fact, it's really quite good. 

Pearls in Rome, Day Eight (Arrivederci, Roma!)

Wednesday, March 27

As I come to the end of this series about our fabulous Roman Holiday a little over a month ago, I realize that there are so many pictures I never even got around to sharing, pictures of some of the most iconic sights in Rome--such as Il Vittoriano, or the Monumento Nazionale a Vittorio Emanuele II (National Monument of Victor Emmanuel II), the famous white marble edifice located in the heart of the city that has been nicknamed  "the Wedding Cake."

I took a few quick pictures of this impressive and imposing landmark (including the requisite selfie) when we passed by it on our second day in Rome, as we were making our way over to the Colosseum for our tour (my head was on a swivel, I'll tell you, and my eyes were just about popping out of my head, taking it all in!).

There are other places, too, that I never got around to talking about--such as the Castle Sant'Angelo on the bank of the Tiber River. This structure was originally built by the emperor Hadrian as a mausoleum but later became a papal refuge.  There is a secret corridor that connects it to the Vatican, so that the pope can flee to safety if Vatican City comes under siege.

I took some photos, including this one, of the Castel Sant'Angelo on the days we visited St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican Museums.

Actually, this might be a good time to tell you that if you haven't been following along and want to catch up with the "Pearls in Rome" series, here are links to Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, Day Six, and Day Seven.  (Even though these posts have a lot more pictures than words, going through so many of them probably seems a bit daunting.  So suffice it to say that we saw a lot of amazing things and it was just about the best week ever...and I have fallen head-over-heels in love with Rome!)

I chose a travel-friendly outfit for the long flight back to the US.  I almost always dress in a skirt and tights for air travel, a holdover from my husband's early days with the airline (way, way back in the late 1980's!), when there was a strict dress code we had to follow if we wanted to take advantage of the perk of free stand-by flights.  But for this day of sad farewells, I chose a casual ensemble of jeans, a flowy, loose-fitting top, and a soft, open-front blazer. This 3/4-sleeve jacket was a staple of my wardrobe for our week in Rome, and it even fit nicely under my roomy trench coat on the cooler days.  (It was an inexpensive Walmart find--and if you haven't ever shopped for clothes there you should really check it out!)

Our bags were packed and sitting by the door.  [Sniff!]  Before we walked out that door for good, we did one last quick check of the apartment to make sure that we hadn't left anything behind and that the place was as immaculate as possible.  (As VRBO homeowners ourselves, we know how much it is appreciated when guests treat the property respectfully!)

There was a taxi stand right next to the Pantheon, which was a few minutes' walk from "our" little apartment.  So we left at 7:00 a.m. and dragged our roller-bags over the cobblestones toward the Pantheon to catch a cab to the Termini train station.

That's my guy up ahead.  I was lagging a bit...reluctant to leave!

Good bye, Pantheon!  I'll miss you!

We boarded the Leonardo Express, and I couldn't stop taking pictures (from my seat on the train, through the window)--even as the city rushed past us in a blur.

Before we knew it, we had been assigned seats on our flight-- together up in First Class (woo hoo!).  That's all I needed to feel safe and comfortable on the trip across the big, blue ocean: my OBALP (Old Building and Loan Pal) sitting right beside me.

Actually, I needed one other guy with me, too.  I always hold this St. Joseph holy card in my hand when we take off, and I say the Unfailing Petition to this powerful saint that is printed on the back of the card.

(I say all I needed was those two guys to feel comfortable...but the cocktails, four-course meal, dessert cart, and movies-on-demand didn't hurt either!  I can't lie.  Those things definitely helped to take the sting out of having to leave my beloved Rome.)

I watched a couple of movies.  I read a book on my Kindle (Ornamental Graces by Carolyn Astfalk--I recommend it!).  And before I knew it, we were back on American soil.

I still can't believe we went on this trip!  We had talked about it many times over the past 15 years or so, and had even started to make plans on several occasions; however, more important family-related matters came up and we had to put our dream of a Roman Holiday on hold.  But we finally did it!  We actually made that dream come true.  I have to pinch myself sometimes.  Ask my husband how many times I've said recently, completely out of the blue, "Thank you so much for taking me on that trip!"  (His reply is always, "No, thank YOU!")

Our meals since we've been back home in VA have had a heavy Italian influence.  LOL!

I know I'll never forget our time in Rome.  But I also think that these blog posts documenting our days there will help to keep the memories fresh for me.

I hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane!  And if it is your dream to visit Rome one day, I hope you get to do it.  You will not be disappointed!

Pearls in Rome, Day Seven (Vatican Museums--Including the Sistine Chapel!)

For the entire time we'd been in Rome thus far, my hubby and I had seen nothing but sunshine and blue skies.  (If you haven't been here in a while and you want to read the first six posts about our recent Rome trip, here are links to Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, and Day Six.)

Tuesday, March 26

On Day Seven, we had our first experience with gray and gloomy weather.  It was raining lightly but steadily as we walked over to the Vatican Museums in the morning and waited in a fairly long ticket line. Luckily, the coat I'd packed for this trip was a loose-fitting, water-repellent trench with a hood attached, so I was able to stay dry enough.  We didn't have umbrellas, and we probably should have bought one from one of the many vendors trying to sell them to us as we waited in line.  But my husband decided he could deal with the rain bare-headed, and fortunately it never really poured down hard.  Before we knew it, we were inside anyway.

We rented two sets of audio tour equipment, which consisted of headphones plugged into little battery-operated boxes that hung about our necks.  These devices gave audio narrations explaining all that we were seeing, room by room.  If you missed a bit of information about a particular piece, you could hit the replay arrow and listen again.  The rooms and many of the individual works of art in them were numbered, and we used the little audio tour boxes to select the numbers we saw as we made our way through the museums.  (Did that make sense?  I hope so.)

The Vatican Museums display a vast collection of priceless works of art which have been amassed by the popes throughout the centuries.  There are so many pieces of precious artwork housed in theses museums, including world-renowned ancient Roman sculptures, giant tapestries depicting the life of Christ, and some of the most acclaimed masterpieces of the Italian Renaissance painters.  There are rooms filled with  magnificent frescoes by Raphael.  And that's before you even get to the Sistine Chapel and Michelangelo's famous and indescribably beautiful paintings on its ceilings.

Friends, readers, bellas...I don't think I can describe what we saw.  As usual, when it comes to this Rome trip, I'm going to have to mostly let my pictures do the talking.  (And luckily, until we got to the Sistine Chapel, visitors were allowed to take as many photos as they pleased.  So what do you think this visitor did?  That's right, you guessed it: she took a whole slew of photos!)

The first rooms were filled with artifacts from ancient Egypt...including actual mummies!

Then there rooms filled with hundreds and hundreds of Roman sculptures, astoundingly life-like figures created by the hands of incredibly skilled artists.

The tapestries were breathtaking.

The opulent beauty of everything the eye beholds as you walk from one section into the next is indescribable.  If you are a lover of art, or architecture, or just plain beauty in general, a visit to the Vatican Museums is for you.  Actually, I can't imagine any human who could help but be moved by the majesty of it all. The term "awesome" is overused in our day and age, so that it has kind of lost the power it should have; but that is the perfect word to describe this amazing place.

My husband and I both felt unutterably moved by the almost otherworldly beauty of Raphael's paintings.  We spent a lot of time in the rooms adorned with his frescoes.

I remember thinking, "How can the Sistine Chapel be any better than this?!  How can Michelangelo's paintings be as good as Raphael's?"

I was about to find out...because when we finally got to the last stop on the tour, I was completely blown away.  My husband and I spent quite a lot of time in the Sistine Chapel, standing in the midst of throngs of noisy tourists, listening to our audio boxes and replaying some of the sections.  We just couldn't tear ourselves away from that magnificent chapel.  People were admonished to be quiet and remember that this was a holy place, a place of prayer, but it got loud at times.

When we first entered the Sistine Chapel, I didn't notice any signs saying that photography was against the rules (later, my husband would explain that the warning sign near the entrance had been hidden by the thick crowds), and I saw dozens of people pointing their cell phones and cameras at the walls and ceilings.  So thinking that it was okay to do so, I started to take photos with my iPhone, too, until I was told to stop.  (After that, numerous announcements were made over the loudspeaker reminding visitors that photography was not allowed, yet most people kept snapping away. I am a rule follower, though, so I stopped as soon as I was told to.)  I actually have a few beautiful pictures of the huge wall fresco known as "The Last Judgment" on my phone, taken when I didn't know photo-taking was a no-no; but I don't feel right publishing these "forbidden" images at the blog.  So here's one that I found on the Internet.

I was also thrilled to see (and get a photo of) this beautiful lady Michelangelo painted on the ceiling, an image that I'd tried to recreate with charcoal pencil as a very amateur teenaged artist (I once wrote a short post about this subject here).  Something about this face has always appealed to me.

My husband and I ended up buying two souvenir books at the Vatican Museums gift shop, one called Raphael's Rooms and the other titled The Sistine Chapel.  These picture books are filled with all the glorious paintings by those two unparalleled artists that we were lucky enough to see with our own eyes on our seventh day in the Eternal City.

We had purchased our tickets at about 11:00 a.m., and we didn't emerged from our long day of touring the museums until 5:45 p.m.!  Wow, that was some experience!  By then, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining again.  We couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather than we had during our time in Rome.  The temperatures were mild, and other than that not-too-heavy rainfall on the morning of the seventh and last day, it was simply glorious all week!

As we left the Vatican area, we passed by Old Bridge and this time there was no line, so we enjoyed some cones piled high with gelato. (Later, after dinner, we would each order another double scoop over at Giolitti's, just before we headed back to our apartment and called it a night--because we thought our last full day in Rome deserved an extra treat.)

They had an Oreo flavor--and it was molto delizioso!

Walking back across the Tiber River, as the sun began to set, the view from the bridge was incredible...I mean, just look at this stunning picture I got--with the dome of St. Peter's there in the distance.  (#nofilternecessary)

This was another night that we had a later dinner than usual, and it was the only time all week that we didn't dine al fresco.  Looking through a guide book one day in our apartment, we had stumbled upon a recommended restaurant called Fraterna Domus di Roma.  Located in the heart of ancient Rome (near the Piazza Navona, the Pantheon, the Spanish Steps, and the Vatican), Fraterna Domus is actually a convent where the sisters in residence serve a family-style meal each night of the week except for Thursdays.  We had made a reservation, and starting at 7:30, we were served a four-course, home-cooked dinner (soup and/or pasta, salad, pot roast with potatoes and green beans, fruit) by the most friendly and adorable Italian-speaking nuns.  We thought having dinner in this cozy and welcoming convent dining room was a fitting way to end our week-long sojourn in Rome.

Even the tiny chapel in this mid-city convent was inordinately beautiful.  I couldn't help snapping a quick picture as we passed by it on our way out of the building.

After dinner, we strolled to our Pantheon neighborhood.

We were kind of stuffed (the nuns did not take no for an answer when they came around with heaping platters, offering seconds!), but we had to have one last gelato at Giolitti's.

After that, we went back to the apartment to start the packing process, because we were going to have to catch a taxi at 7:00 the next morning, and then a train to the airport...

It was almost time to say a sad arrivederci to Roma...

More to come!