No More Faux-ny Baloney

I'm so excited!  Today my husband and I went to Home Depot to talk to the kitchen designer and ordered new kitchen countertops, which will be installed in the very near future.  Our entire kitchen could probably use an update, as it hasn't been changed at all--aside from getting new appliances to replace the ones that stopped working--since we moved into our house in December of 1990.  It was a new house in the sense that it had never been lived in before and wasn't even entirely finished off on the inside; but it had been sitting empty for almost three years, and then the builder went bankrupt and it went into foreclosure.  So we got a great deal on it, and we got to choose a few interior design elements--like the kitchen flooring, some light fixtures, and the upstairs carpets; but the kitchen cabinets and countertops were already in, and we didn't have the funds to both purchase the house and do a big kitchen makeover.

Our kitchen cabinets are dated; I think at one time that sleek, modern, Scandinavian look was in style, but I know it's not anymore (except in doctors' exam rooms and such).  And even when we were house-hunting and first saw this home of ours, we didn't love them.  But the house itself--the size, the number of bedrooms, the layout, the beautiful wooded lot on which it was located--was so perfect in so many ways (it was our dream house, really) that we decided we could live with the kitchen, no problem.  And we have, for 22 years.  Happily.

The only thing I've done to the kitchen is give the original laminate countertops a faux finish. They were a solid mocha color, and about five or six years ago they were really starting to show a lot of wear and tear.  So I sponge-painted over the mocha with dark brown, cream, and black paint to create the look of granite, then added some polyurethane as a sealer.  I was happy with the finished product for a long time.  I mean, look at them.  They look okay, right?  From a distance?

I thought they did.  But recently, I decided that the time has come to get some new-and-improved countertops.  The real deal.  No more faux-ny baloney stuff.  So I'm getting new laminate counters that look like granite.  (I know you're probably puzzled, and wondering why I don't just get me some real granite countertops--but it doesn't seem wise to spend that much money unless everything else it getting updated, too.)

Here's a little sample piece of the new faux granite laminate I chose, sitting atop the old faux granite counter that I painted:

You're probably thinking that the new faux granite looks almost exactly like the old faux granite, and wondering why I'm bothering to make this change at all.  But trust me, it's going to be a big improvement.  I'll post the after picture to prove it!

I love trompe l'oiel and faux finishes.  I've blogged in previous posts about this weird fascination I have with all sorts of faux-ny home decor treatments.  There was that post about faux stained glass windows.  And one about faux bricks.  Others, too, involving pigs and various other animals.  I could do a whole "Faux Finishes Week," which would be every bit as exciting as Discovery Channel's "Shark Week," don't you think?  Hey, I might just do that!  (Or will I?  With me, nothing is as it seems, is it?)