How We Handle Christmas Gifts

Before I get started, Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception, dear readers.  

We have been blessed with 23 grandchildren, abundantly blessed--and I can't tell you the number of times people have asked me how we "do Christmas" with so many to buy for.  It's a complicated question, because we don't have a set routine; each year has tended to be slightly different, and plans keep evolving with the addition of each new little one.  I didn't make a decision the day I became a grandmother about how I was going to handle the Christmas gift-giving thing.  (You know, the way some parents decide from the outset to give each of their children three gifts, like the Wise Men; or they give four: "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.") Part of me wishes that I had been that forward-thinking and organized about it, but I wasn't.  So as I said, it's a tough question to answer.

If we had 10 grandkids or less, I imagine I might have a different philosophy about Christmas gift-giving. But there is no way that we can be those over-the-top generous grandparents, the ones who give motorized ride-on cars and such, when there are 23 of them.  That would bankrupt us.  Even the whole matching Christmas jammies rigamarole is not something we can pull off these days  I tried that once, about six or seven years ago.  I hunted down coordinating PJ's for all of them; but somehow we never even got the requisite picture of all the grandkids gathered together in their red-and-black buffalo checks.  So I haven't tried that since.

When our three oldest grandchildren, all girls, were young, I used to sew matching Christmas dresses for them; but things were simpler back then.  For a time, they were our only grandchildren! That changed fast! In 2020, I did manage to get the five youngest girls matching red-and-white plaid taffeta dresses, which I'd bought at an after-Christmas clearance sale in 2019, hoping the sizes would work out a year later. They did, and it was adorable.

How cute are these little gals?

But I've got 13 granddaughters now, ages one to 14, who are all shapes and sizes, and all particular about how they like to dress (or how their mommies like to dress them); so that sort of thing just isn't going to happen anymore. 

Anyhoo, I was reading Leila Lawler's most recent post over at Like Mother, Like Daughter, and I realized that in her, I have a kindred spirit.  She has 22 grandchildren and a limited budget, she loves to give gifts handmade with love, and she realizes that it is not up to her to fulfill her grandchildren's wildest dreams at Christmastime.  She says, "I give myself permission to step down from the job of fulfilling their Christmas dreams.  That's the parent's job, really.  You know what I mean: if the child has been longing for a bike or a doll, the parents know best what to get...I've done my part, however inadequately, when my own children were growing up."  Lawler says it so much better than I could, and I totally agree that although grandparents play a vital role in the lives of their grandchildren, giving them the bestest-ever gifts at Christmas does not need to be priority number one.  It's okay as a grandmother to, as she puts it, "just relax into the role of the loving figure who sent you some little toy that wasn't the be-all and end-all."  She doesn't stress about it; she says she just tries "to give one gift per grandchild that is something along these lines: handmade, whimsical, and/or relating to a particular interest of the child."

Although I admittedly sometimes let myself worry about whether I'm doing "enough," Lawler's wise words really do resonate with me.  I actually think it's even okay for grandparent gifts to be the ones that get the heave-ho over the shoulder, the way Ralphie and Randy do with their socks in the movie A Christmas Story.  (LOL--that reminds me of two Christmases ago, our "beach towel Christmas."  Sometime I'll give you a good chuckle and tell you all about that one!)

Seriously, though, I don't believe that grandparents need to compete with Santa.  Now don't get me wrong: even though gift-giving isn't my first love language, I do love giving gifts.  It's just that I'm happiest when I have an idea for something I can make rather than buy.  And it's not about the money, really; it's more about wanting to figure out something personal and meaningful for the people who mean the most to me.  I am more apt to want to find a special wished-for toy for each grandchild on their birthdays, when it's all about him or her. But on Christmas, it's all about Jesus, and I feel like the gifts that Papa and I give don't need to make anyone's dreams come true.  I never received anything but clothes and books from my grandparents, and that was okay by me; it was Santa, and Mom and Dad, who stockpiled longed-for toys under the tree and filled my stocking with tiny treasures.

My husband's parents, who ended up with a whopping 32 grandchildren, got to the point where they just gave out crisp five dollar bills at Christmas, and then eventually ten dollar bills. It had just gotten too hard to do gifts for that many kids!  We're not quite there yet, but I can see that as a possibility for how we'll handle things down the road--adjusted for inflation, of course.  :)

So, how's it going to go this year, you ask?  For Christmas 2025, our main gift for each grandchild will be a Rosary handcrafted with love for them by their Grammy.  The ones for the girls are made of white pearls, with rose-shaped beads for the Our Fathers; the ones for the boys are made of blue and gold pearls (Notre Dame colors!), with football-shaped beads for the Our Fathers; and all of them have their names spelled out in letter beads.  I made these way back in the spring, when I got the idea.  I was too excited to wait!  (I do realize that I have some grandchildren who are too young to appreciate or take care of these Rosaries yet; but I wanted to make them for all 23 anyway.)

t's really going to be a handmade Christmas (yay!), because I also stitched up short capes for all 13 granddaughters (well, full disclosure: eight are finished, and I'm currently working on the last five).  My youngest son's wife suggested this project to me, and I thought it was genius!  I had to purchase some lining fabric and some metal sew-on clasps, but the yards and yards of lovely velvet material came from my late mother-in-law's attic (adding some sentimental value to these garments).   I'm hoping to get pictures of the girls modeling them, and if so I'll share them here at the blog someday. 

I've been busy in my basement sewing room!

Girls like pretty clothes, so I can do this sort of thing for the granddaughters; but boys, not so much.   I used to sew a bit for my grandsons when they were little guys, rompers and such; but these days, I don't think that's the way to go.  When it comes to clothes, a team jersey or a Pokemon t-shirt might be a hit; but they all have plenty of those.  So the girls will get the capes with their Rosaries, and the big boys will get new footballs (cool ones with favorite team logos on them--I'm not a total Grinch!).  The boys who are too little to care about footballs will get trucks (again, not a Grinch!).

I might have thrown a few extra toys into the mix for two of our wee granddaughters, who are almost 3 and almost one; but they are the only grandchildren we won't see this Christmas season (they'll be out in Michigan with their other grandparents), so I think it's okay to spoil them just a tad. 

This is how we're doing things this Christmas; it all might look totally different next year, depending on circumstances.  But I'm thrilled that this one is going to be a mostly homemade Christmas.

To wrap this up, I don't really think it's necessary, or even a good idea, to try to spoil our grandkids too much with stuff--in general, not just at Christmastime.  Their Papa and I prefer to spoil them with our time and attention, which we give as generously and joyfully as we possibly can throughout the year.

And now, down to the sewing room!