"Tears Become Pearls"

I have just finished an acrylic painting of Our Lord's Holy Face, which I'm going to call "Tears Become Pearls." This title is in reference to these moving words from "Prayer to the Holy Face," which is printed on the back of a St. Veronica holy card that I picked up in the back of Church one Sunday and which I try to read each day: "I am consumed with the desire of loving Thee and making Thee loved by all mankind.  The tears that streamed in such abundance from Thine eyes are to me as precious pearls which I delight to gather, that with their infinite worth I may ransom the souls of the poor sinners."

I recently wrote a blog post about this prayer, and the way it inspired me to create an image of Jesus' tears transforming into pearls as they fall from His eyes. I did a colored-pencil rendition of the picture that had formed in my head, and it just didn't do the glorious image I had envisioned justice. My attempts at art rarely live up to those mind's-eye images!  But with renewed purpose, on October 20, I picked up my paints and my paintbrushes and went to work on a blank canvas, starting with a rough pencil sketch.

As I began to paint, my early endeavors did not produce very good fruit.  I almost gave up, thinking that perhaps I was not meant to get this image down in the form of a painting.  But something kept me working on it, while singing or humming well-known church hymns almost constantly, down in my basement sewing and painting "room."  (It's not really a room; carved out of a corner of the storage area, it is a cozy little nook that is an introvert's dream and my happy place!)

Yikes!  What is with those eyes?! They make
Him look like an Anime character. (I literally
scraped the paint off and started over.)

Getting better...

As you can see, Our Lord's face kept changing--especially the eyes, which to me are the most important feature of all.

I worked quickly--much more quickly than usual--and within a few days I felt I was close.

A couple of times long the way, I compared my Holy Face to the one imprinted on the Shroud of Turin.  On a whim I even turned my mostly-finished painting around and looked at it from behind, with the ceiling light shining on it (trying, not too successfully, to achieve the effect of a negative).

And now here's a comparison from the front.  The left-hand image was one that I found on Wednesday night, on the front of a prayer booklet on the bedside table at my second son's house (when we were spending the night to care for his three older boys while he and his wife were in the hospital welcoming baby #4--another boy!).  I snapped a picture of it to put side-by-side with my finished version of Jesus' Holy Face when I got back home.

What has been strange about painting this image is that I've worked more quickly and confidently than I usually do.  I don't have the urge to go back and do all kinds of tweaking now, even though I am well aware that there are aspects of the background and the hastily rendered red robe--and the pearls!--that could probably use some work.  Jesus' hair is not great, but I hesitate to overwork it an end up with something that looks even worse. The white of the canvas shows through in spots, where my brushstrokes were very light, and I normally feel the need to cover every inch of a canvas completely.  But in spite of all the flaws, I find that I don't want to touch this painting anymore, and such as it is, it is finished.

Aside from looking at the Shroud initially, as a starting point to get an idea of the facial proportions I should be shooting for, I worked on this Holy Face of Jesus without any references whatsoever.  Usually, I like to study a number of images to help me decide how I want my faces to look, and I keep them handy throughout the project; for this painting, I just did what came to me out of the picture I had in my head.  And I found myself feeling a more intense closeness with Jesus than ever--not that I'm saying I think I know what He looks like and believe I have captured His image correctly.  But for whatever reason, I felt particularly close to Him every minute that I was working on this.  And even though I am always, always the harshest critic of my own work, I feel nothing but happy when I look at it, now that it's done.

I realized after I had completed work on this painting that there are ten pearl tears--which seems just right, as I think they should symbolize the ten Hail Mary's in each decade of the Rosary.  That way, Our Lord's beloved Mother is included in this picture. I think it's fitting that the tears He shed during His passion because of the sins we have committed should be transformed into the beads of a Rosary.

With Election Day approaching and so many things--our religious freedom, most importantly--at stake, depending on the outcome, images of Our Lord speak to me now more than ever.  But because of Him and the ultimate sacrifice He made for us, I know all will be well in the end.  And I trust that He will take care of all of the Pearls, my very own string of Pearls, whom I love more than my own life.

Jesus, I trust in You!

Jesus, remember me, when You come into Your Kingdom!

Jesus, mercy!

And to quote from the final words of the "Prayer to the Holy Face" on my St. Veronica card, may I one day "reach the vision of Thy glorious Face in heaven!  Amen."