Shy AND Introverted...a Killer Combo!

I've found myself wishing way too much lately that I had a more wowzer personality, that I could regale a crowd with a humorous or fascinating story (instead of hurrying through everything I say for fear of losing my audience's interest entirely), that I was the type of individual others thought of as a fun and zany addition to any social event, that I wasn't so shy.  I am usually the quiet one in the corner, listening with rapt attention to the captivating extroverts in the room. I am the one who thinks curling up with a good book can sometimes be more enjoyable than going to a big party.  I am the one who begins to stutter and see spots before my eyes when I realize that more than one person is listening to what I'm saying (a public speaker I am NOT!).

I often tell my husband that I think I come off better in writing than I do in person.  I can put just what I'd like to say down on paper--but if you ask me to look you in the eye and say it, right there on the spot without a chance to collect my thoughts, I sometimes crumble.  Give me a pen and paper a typewriter a laptop, and I'm golden, though.  I saw this Flannery O'Connor quote on "Catholic All Year" today, and it sums up my weird God-given personality to a T.  (Kendra Tierney, forgive me for lifting this image right off your blog and planting it on mine.)

"What is wrong with me?" I often think.  "How in the world do people come up with all that stellar small talk that makes them so much fun to be around?"  And worst of all, I sometimes wonder, "Why didn't God make me like those extroverts I admire so?"  (You don't have to tell me that that this is a weakness and a flaw in my character, and that I should be ashamed of myself for questioning God; whenever I realize I'm doing it, I am appropriately contrite.)

Accepting who you are, and how God made you, is not as easy as it seems like it should be. Even knowing that the world would be a boring and frustrating place if we were all created exactly alike doesn't always take away that wish to be more like this one or that one or so-and-so.  Humility is a wonderful virtue--but without a healthy sort of self-love, we cannot properly love others.  So I just ate up this YouTube video that my soon-to-be (wonderfully extroverted!) daughter-in-law showed me a couple of weeks ago.  It's a talk by Susan Cain, a self-proclaimed introvert who wrote a book about the positive aspects of "introversion." It's about 20 minutes long, but well worth the time.  After watching it, I was reminded that there are lots of others out there like me--and even though we don't make the most noise, the world needs what we have to offer, too.