Most of my readers know this already, but if you're new here, I should tell you that I have five sons and no daughters (or make that I had no daughters, because my oldest son got married four years ago and gave me one--the best daughter I could ever ask for).
Mothers of all boys tend to get lots of pitying looks--well, at least I did. And they get lots of sympathetic (and dare I say tactless?) comments from other mothers whose offspring include at least a few specimens who are of the sugar and spice and everything nice variety.
For instance, a Navy wife I used to hang out with back when I had three little lads under three once delivered this crushing blow: "All boys! Too bad. Maybe at least ONE of them will stay close to you guys." (Huh?! What kind of mother says that to a fellow mother? And I know they say, "A son is a son 'til he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all of her life," but I refuse to buy that. And all you mothers of little boys out there who are reading this, don't believe it. Even big boys love and need their mommies.)
By the time I was a pregnant mother of four boys, I got a lot of this: "Are you trying for your girl?" (Nope, we weren't trying or not trying, if you know what I mean. God had His own plan.)
And this: "Oh, you must be trying for your girl!" (Why else would I be pregnant a fifth time, right? Surely not to get another boy! Again, no; just hoping for a healthy baby.)
And of course: "Oh, poor you--I hope you finally get your girl!" (Why poor me? I loved those crazy little guys of mine! I thought I would be one lucky mom indeed if I got another one.)
After son #5 joined the team, it was: "Better you than me! God bless you!" (I should have always been ready to respond, "He already has!")
Okay, now for the piece de resistance: "You're a saint!" (It's not at all true, and a bit embarrassing to hear. But in this modern world where large families seem to have gone the way of rotary phones and 8-track players--and VHS tapes, too, although we still have a rather large collection of those bad boys--anyone with five children, especially five male children, gets mucho respect from the moms in their neighborhoods who feel like they have their hands full with one or two.)
I love boys. I love their energy and their simplicity. I love that they can blow up at each other one minute and be laughing together the next. There were few undercurrents in our house while our boys were living in it together, few periods of sulking and moodiness. I'm not saying it was all lollipops and rainbows--but it was great...it was just great. God blessed me, for sure, when he sent me all those boys. It didn't make me a saint (yet! But fingers crossed!), but it made for a very interesting, full, and entertaining life. It made me happy. There may have been too many wadded up dirty socks lying around--on the floor, between the couch cushions, and sometimes even on the table (!); there may have also been a little too much bathroom humor.
(This 2004 picture of sons 3 through 5 is worth a thousand words...but you don't want to hear them.) |
Once when I was expressing my joy about being a full-time mom, telling my own mother how grateful I was for the life I was living, she said, "Well sure, you've got it made! With all those boys, you're the queen." I remember thinking, "But do queens have to spend as much time as I do changing dirty diapers, scrubbing toilets, rounding up smelly socks, doing mounds of laundry, slaving away in the kitchen, driving kids to school, to practice, to games...don't they have people who do all that kind of dirty work for them?"
She was right, though. They stopped wearing diapers and bickering over who got to sit up front in the station wagon, they started driving themselves to school and practice, they began to appreciate my cooking (even the pickiest of my eaters, sons #3 and #5)--they grew up, and they learned to truly give me the royal treatment. They had an outstanding model to follow in their dad, and they have become men who are very much like him.
I love my boys! (Did you get that already?) Now head on over to Clan Donaldson for more testosterone-filled posts!
My husband is supremely jealous of anyone with more than 1 boy! And while I love my girls, I sure hope we have more boys - more chances for priestly vocations! Every time I see Catholic families with lots of boys I feel SO excited, because look at all those strong fathers (in whichever way they are called) this family is giving the Church!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't get any priests (so far anyway--I suppose the jury could still be out on our youngest). But we got boys who all want to be good husbands and fathers--also important vocations!
DeleteBy the way, ever since I discovered all these blogs written by young Catholic moms like you, I feel encouraged. It seems like big Catholic families are making a comeback, and it's such a beautiful thing to see that! There was only one family at our boys' Catholic grade school (in the 80's and 90's) who had more kids than we did, and they had 6--which when I was a kid would have been considered average-sized. It would be great to see families of 7, 8, and more become the norm again. :)
Oh my goodness. My future life is flashing before my eyes with every click down your link trails.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you shared with us!!
Your future is bright! (And I can't believe your boys have their own blogs! How cool is that?)
DeleteI'm VERY grateful you had all boys!!! Son #3 happens to be my personal favorite :)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome (for son #3).
Delete;)
This is wonderful. I am going to have to come back to this and read your other posts. I got so many of those same comments back when I just had three little boys. And everyone was sure with the fourth that we were just going for a girl. So I guess our last two kids were just extraneous!
ReplyDeleteI love boys, too, and you summed up exactly why so nicely. And my boys would definitely pose next to that awesome bench as well!!!
I know, it's funny how people think having all boys is some sort of curse. Obviously, we would have loved daughters, if that's what God had sent us. But boys are wonderful.
DeleteI figure most boys would love that sign as much as mine did. :)
So many great thoughts here, Laura. We too got the "are you trying for" question after our 2 girls. We did get a boy (2 in fact) but it always bothered me.
ReplyDeleteThat photo is hilarious!
That photo brings back such good memories! We were visiting our two oldest boys out at Notre Dame. Driving from our hotel over to the campus to meet up with them, we passed that sign and we all agreed that we just HAD to pull over and get a picture. My husband stayed in the car and I jumped out, laughing hysterically. My sons ran over to that bench and posed (and I don't know how I ever got a clear shot, the camera was shaking so much). We were all sort of giddy with laughter, knowing how silly we must look to anyone passing by.
DeleteThat photo hangs on the wall in our downstairs half-bath. (Is that in bad taste?)
I LOVE that photo! Classic boy!
ReplyDeleteI love your post on boys. Sounds like such a fun house to grow up in!
I think it was fun for them. They could always find a cohort to do things with. They played on sports teams together. They're very close as adults, and I really hope they take their good memories of growing up together with them wherever they go.
DeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest of four girls and I was JUST tailing to my mom about how I wish we had brothers because sometimes there is so.much.drama! Haha.
Ha ha! My boys have plenty of girl cousins, with whom they're very close--so they got an occasional "sister fix," which I think was important.
DeleteLove that picture and love those boys! (all five of them) Your boy stories are great and bring back memories of my boys and how they got along (mostly N & E) such great memories growing up.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite pictures...should I admit that? Does that mean I spent too much time in a girl-free zone?
DeleteLove your post but you forgot one comment I get a lot of when I'm out with my 3 boys, "You have your hands full." Another mom told me this and now my response is always "better full than empty." It tends to shut people up real fast and then they leave thinking about their own life instead of yours. I feel there is much bathroom humor to come in my life.
ReplyDeleteYou're right: I've gotten the "you've got your hands full" one a lot, too--how could I forget it? I LOVE your response!! It seems like every time I got one of those comments, I was just blindsided anew, and my brain wouldn't come up with a response until hours later!
DeleteJust the thing my boys would think was funny too!
ReplyDeleteThey're all the same!
DeleteWell having 6 sons, 5 brothers and 6 b-i-ls I'm surrounded by males. I admit I love having sons, males are just so darn interesting, I love how they just say it, how they can be so logical, the male mind fascinates me.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I'm going to see if I'm bold enough to use your comeback, I get the "you must be so patient" ahh ask my kids;)
The male mind fascinates me as well.
DeleteOne of my sons made a funny comment recently: "Guys need girls to keep them from being slobs; girls need guys to keep them from being crazy."
I also love Natalie's comeback. It's genius!
Oh, I am giving you the biggggeeesssstttt virtual hug right now!! I have 5 boys too, no girls, and can relate to EVERYTHING you wrote about it - a true kindred spirit you are!! :) Happy to be your 33rd follower!! :)
ReplyDelete~ Susan www.solesearchingmamma.com
Yay for moms of five boys! And thanks for becoming an official follower. :)
DeleteWhat a wonderful post. I have 5 girls and 2 boys and I love the different things the boys bring to the family. It is so fascinating to watch their minds and how they think. They are SO different from girls. God truly has blessed you :)
ReplyDeleteWow, he's certainly blessed YOU! I love hearing about big families like yours. I think the pendulum has swung, if the young Catholic bloggers I'm "meeting" these days are any indication!
DeleteOh, that is a wonderful picture!! I'm still laughing. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love your stories of the comments you got. Even when I was pregnant with my second (the first being a girl) I got lots of "So, you're trying for a boy, huh?" Um, no. Just a healthy baby, thanks. Having two girls now, I shudder to think of what people will say if we go for another.
I'm glad you liked the picture, Cathy. We could all use a good laugh these days, right?
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