Before I begin this post, I have a prayer request for an 18-year-old boy named Christian (the oldest son of our daughter-in-law Ginger's brother) who is battling a particularly aggressive form of brain cancer. Doctors feel that they have done all they can for him and at this point he needs a miracle. I know there are powerful prayer warriors who stop by here, so if you have a minute, please ask God to help Christian (he could not be more aptly named, I assure you)--ask Him to give Christian courage and peace as he carries his unspeakably heavy cross, and to heal him completely, if that is His will.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how unfair it often seems, that some people are asked to carry such tremendously unbearable burdens in this life on earth while others--like my husband and myself--get to live a life of relative ease and comfort. My heart goes out to everyone in Ginger's family who loves Christian and is suffering alongside him. As grandparents ourselves, my husband and I can imagine the tremendous heartache of Ginger's parents, who are bowed down under the weight of their beloved grandson's illness while also dealing with other family crises that have arisen (because as any parent of grown children will tell you, parenthood doesn't end when your children become adults. Not by a long shot). And it wasn't that long ago that they had another young grandson battling leukemia--which he has beaten, thank the Lord! Why is one family asked to bear such pain and another, like ours, given so much more joy than heartache? Ginger's parents have five children and more than 20 grandchildren, just like we do; and yet, thus far they have suffered so much more than we have.
We have been ridiculously, inordinately blessed, and I would not trade places with another living soul; but I know that those who more closely share the burden of Our Lord's Cross are much closer friends of His than we are, and I look on those people with awe and admiration. Through such trials, great saints are made!
I'm sure you've heard the story about St. Teresa of Avila, who suffered many trials in life. Whatever the circumstances, she would hear Jesus say to her, "This is how I treat my friends," to which she would reply, "If this is how You treat Your friends, it is no wonder You have so few!" I love St. Teresa, her sense of humor is so endearing! And whenever I see people going through particularly agonizing situations, I automatically think that perhaps they are especially beloved by God. I believe that these people are Jesus's special friends. (Christian is, I am positive. What a beautiful faith he had developed in the year before his cancer diagnosis--almost as if God was preparing him for the coming trial he would face!)
Ginger said that a priest came to give Christian and his family some comfort recently, and he talked about how there is a cross that has been fashioned for each one of us, carved and finished uniquely for us, and that no two are exactly alike. I wish I could remember exactly how she told the story; I am not doing it justice. But the gist of it was that we are all asked to carry different crosses, depending on our own particular needs for salvation, and if one person's cross looks smoother and lighter and easier to bear than someone else's, that doesn't mean that person will get to Heaven without some form of suffering. This is the promised Valley of Tears, after all. But it will look different than the crosses others bear, for it will have been fashioned uniquely for that person, according to his needs and God's will for him.
So I know that just because my husband and I have had it relatively easy thus far, we will undoubtedly be asked to suffer at some point before we leave this life behind. That being said, I'm trying to embrace the joy of each day, without worrying about what might be ahead. You know, like it says in Luke 12:25: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Or in Matthew 6:34: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I wasted a lot of time as a young mother worrying about things than never happened. My boys all grew up healthy and happy, and I got to watch them become men, fall in love, marry, and become fathers. I might have taken it for granted back then, but I definitely don't anymore. Our life over the past 44 years could have been so different, so much sadder and more painful. But for whatever reason, that was not God's plan for us Pearls.
I dearly hope that when the time comes to suffer, that when I am asked to carry my individually fashioned cross, I will do it well. I hope I will remember that it doesn't mean that God doesn't love me or that He's abandoned me--that it means quite the opposite, in fact.
But for now, I will try with all my might to avoid worrying about what might come. I’ll just enjoy every single minute of the blessed life I've been given—and a big part of doing that is hanging out with some adorable little people God has sent for me to love. Like this sweet little animal-obsessed toddler, the youngest of our middle son's five kids, who is kind of my boyfriend these days. (Someday I'll explain what that means, but until then, I'll let a couple of pictures from last night do the talking!)
***Please pray for Christian (and his family)!
