Home IS Where the Heart Is

It is.

So at this moment, home is not here.

It's here.  In a hotel room in Atlanta.

I just kissed my husband good-bye a couple of hours ago, outside "our" door, as he headed off for his long session of work-related training.  He'll be back in time for us to have a late-ish dinner together, either in the restaurant downstairs or at one of the many eateries that are within walking distance of our hotel.  We have developed a comfortable little routine here at our home away from home.

Because of the nature of his job, my husband has spent so much of his working life traveling hither and yon, far from the family (and the comfy bed) he loves.  He has spent far, far too much time in hotel rooms like this one, alone, looking forward to our daily phone call so that he can eagerly catch up on everything he's missing back at home.

Thanks to his hard work and sacrifices, I was able to be a stay-at-home mom to our five grown sons (a vocation I cherished!), and we were even able to afford to provide them all with a Catholic education from kindergarten through high school.  Those tuition bills required some financial sacrifices elsewhere (yay for Wal-Mart Faded Glory brand dungarees, not to mention Kraft macaroni and cheese!), but don't I know how blessed we were that we had the life we did!  I am forever grateful that my husband's selflessness and love for his family, and the countless hours he logged on the road when he always would have preferred to be at home with us, made this life possible.

So--

When he had to go to training the week before Christmas, we decided that right after Christmas, after our youngest son left to head back to his new home (for the next three years, anyway) in Germany, I'd do something I'd never done before: I'd join him.  The company is paying for the hotel anyway, and being together is a whole lot better than being apart.  And also, our home in NH, while ideal for raising five boys (and hosting family Christmases for them and their wives and children), is a bit too big and a bit too quiet when you're the only one living in it!  I'm so happy that my husband and I are together, even if I'm spending parts of the days alone in a hotel room, waiting for his training days to end.  If I'd stayed behind, my heart would have been here with him anyway.

Being parted from those you love is so hard (and again, my undying thanks to my husband for being willing to do it in order to provide so well for his lucky family!).  You have to hold them in your heart.  You have to make every place you get to spend time with them your home.

Now that our boys have grown up, moved out, gotten married, and started families of their own, we have homes in Michigan and in two different cities in Virginia--and in Germany now, too, I guess. (We are already scheming to find a way to get over there and put our youngest boy's guest room to good use!)  Sometimes, when our family gathers for a Notre Dame football game, our home is in South Bend, IN.

I'm a homebody at heart, a nester to the nth degree; but as my family grows and evolves, I find myself less and less attached to the house where I raised my children.  However, I am fiercely attached to my home, wherever that happens to be at the time.

The other day, I was reading a post on a blog for my mom, and Rosie mentioned a novel she'd put on her 2016 to-read list titled Hannah Coulter, which I've never read.  Curious, I went on Amazon to find out more about this Wendell Berry book, and this beautiful quote attributed to the character for whom it is named spoke to me: "My mind... is close to being the room of love where the absent are present, the dead are alive, time is eternal and all creatures prosperous."  Those beautiful words brought tears to my eyes.

That's it, I thought: although I've always missed my husband when he's been away on trips, and now I miss my kids who no longer live with (or even near) us, my mind is always a room of love where the absent are present.

And perhaps that's how my husband survived all the separations from his family over the years: by living in that room of love, with all of us gathered together inside its walls.

(P.S.  Guess which book is now on my 2016 to-read list, too?!)

Christmas 2015 Photo Dump

For Christmas 2014, we had all of our boys, their spouses, and their families with us, all staying under one roof.  That means five sons, four daughters-in-law, and the four grandchildren who'd been born by then (our oldest boy's three girls and our middle boy's son G-Man, who was only an infant at the time). 

Since then, two more grandchildren have been added to the fold--another girl for son #1 and a boy for our second-born.

But that doesn't mean our house was full to bursting this Christmas. You see, we got them last year; so this year, it was the in-laws' turn to have our married sons with them.   (It's only fair, after all.  Because, you know...sharing.)

So the only offspring we had with us was our baby.  (As he turns 23 in a matter of weeks, I guess it's time to accept that he's hardly a baby anymore.)  He had just moved to Germany--where he will be stationed for the next three years--in October, so we weren't sure he'd even be able to come home.  But he did.  He flew back to the States on the 22nd and had to return on the 27th, so it was a whirlwind visit.  But it was wonderful.  And it absolutely made our Christmas.

This little photo dump will tell you better than a lot of words could how much we enjoyed having our youngest with us to celebrate the birth of Our Lord.

Shopping for his nieces on the 23rd, looking for what he
called  "gateway dinosaurs"--ones that were cute enough
to get little girls interested.  (Today, cuddly stuffed ones;

tomorrow realistic Jurrassic World models: that's the goal!)

A Santa sighting at the mall.  "SANTA!!  I KNOW him!

There were some FaceTime sessions with brothers

(here on Christmas Even, with the oldest of the five

--and the youngest of his four).

Crackers were opened, crowns were donned, jokes were told.

Funny, funny jokes.

Our street has been doing luminaries on Christmas Eve for as long as

I can remember (and we've lived here for 25 years now).

Usually, many hands make light work.  But he was the lone helper this time.

(He looks happy about it, doesn't he?)

His favorite Christmas gift was this t-shirt from Target: "Seasons Greetings

from the Skywalkers."  With Darth Vader resting his arm casually on the

piano, while his kids Luke and Leia hang out by the fireplace...

(It got an even better laugh than I thought it would, so WINNER.)

Using the 10-second timer, I was able to set this shot up and hop in just

before the flash went off.  I wondered how we were going to get our gang all

together for a Christmas card picture, and this is what I came up with.

Turkey dinner on Christmas night, with two of my favorite men.

The requisite Christmas selfie, while settling in to watch "Elf." 

(Yikes, this close-up of my big round face makes me nervous.

Time to let my main man hold the camera.  There, that's better.

I will always, always miss whichever of our kids and grandkids can't be with us on any particular holiday.  But in a way, they'll always be with us, because I carry them in my heart.  Always.  You can't see them, but they're in these photos, right along with our baby.

Blessed Virgin Mary, Pray for Me!

Happy New Year, readers!

I'm very excited...because it's that time again!  It's a brand new year, so it's time to get yourself a brand new patron saint, chosen especially for you by the Saints Name Generator. 

I just got mine, and I am so thrilled to tell you that my randomly chosen saint for 2016 is the Blessed Virgin Mary!  To find out that She is going to be my chosen saint for 2016--on January 1, a feast day that honors Mary, the Mother of God--was very special.  I can't help but believe that 2016 is going to be a very good year, with Her special patronage.

In 2013, the Saints Name Generator picked St. Padre Pio for me, and it was absolutely amazing how many Padre Pio-themed holy cards and prayer books started to show up in our mailbox not long afterward.  (I blogged about these unexpected blessings here.) Although we are on the mailing lists of many Catholic organizations and charities, we had never received as many Padre Pio-related mailings before that year, and we haven't received as many since.  But it really seemed like that powerful saint was trying to befriend me in a special way that particular year.  (It seems that there truly are no accidents!)

In 2014, a lesser-known saint was chosen for me: St. Walburga.  (I blogged about her here, if you'd like to learn more.)  I am sorry to say that although I was happy to be introduced to this rather obscure saint whose name I'd never even heard before, I never felt quite as close to St. Walburga as I had to St. Padre Pio.  Perhaps I didn't try hard enough to establish a bond with her, though.  Or perhaps it is true that just as people are drawn to each other in this life, there are some saints with whom we feel a special kinship (and the amazing thing is, I think they just might feel it with us, too!).

I was so busy in 2015 (a year that started with a four-and-a-half month stint in VA, hanging out with my little buddy, G-Man, and then had my husband and me on the road so often that our fellow parishioners in NH thought we'd moved!), that I never remembered to get my new saint.

But this year, I feel so very lucky indeed to have had the Blessed Mother chosen for me!

I try to feel Her loving presence in my life every day, and we have countless reminders of Her scattered throughout our home--whether it be statues of Our Lady of Grace and Our Lady of Fatima, paintings of Her Immaculate Heart, or sets of rosary beads that are fingered daily, when reciting five decades of the Rosary (while praying fervently for the many intentions of our family, both living and dead).  I have also worn a Miraculous Medal around my neck 24/7 for the past 20 years or so, and I wear it with confidence in the graces Mary has promised to give to those who ask for them.  I frequently recite the words inscribed on the front of this medal: "O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee."

If you come here a lot, you may know that I have a first class relic of St. Catherine Laboure, which I inherited from my late maternal grandparents in 2012.  It came with an official stamped document from Rome, written in Latin, that says it is bone fragments taken from the humble French nun to whom Mary appeared and to whom She gave specific instructions for having the medal made.

I think 2016 is going to be a very good year.  I pray that it will be filled with many blessings, and that Mary will be always at my side, through all my joys and sorrows.

If you haven't done so yet, head on over to the Saints Name Generator and find out which saint has been chosen for you.  You never know what surprises might be in store for you if you take that leap of faith!

35 Years and Going Strong

December 27, 1980

It was a very good day.  It's been an even better 35 years.

Rejoice!

For unto us a Child is born...

I hope you're having a blessed and happy Christmas, dear readers! 

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Our youngest son is winging his way home across the Atlantic as I write this, and he'll be spending the next few days with his dear old dad and me.  I'm not sure if I'll get around to blogging while he's here, so I thought I'd just pop in at String of Pearls to wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.  God bless you and yours with peace, love, and happiness throughout the holiday season.  And I'll see you after all the excitement dies down.

But before I go, I thought I'd spread a little Christmas cheer with these photos of son #2 and the brand new baby boy named after him, playing Santa and his littlest elf to perfection.  (I said in an earlier post that our newest grandson's blog alias was going to be "Little Dude," but I've changed my mind; this little guy will henceforth be known here as "Junior.")

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!  And I'll see you soon!

Christmas around Our House

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around our house.  I think I've got things pretty much ready for our baby, the only one of the five boys who will be here with us to celebrate the birth of Our Lord.  Last year was "our" year, and we had all five boys, four spouses, and four-going-on-five grandchildren gathered under our roof ('twas a Christmas miracle!); this year, it's the in-laws' turn to have the married kids (and the six-going-on-seven grandchildren) with them.  But instead of focusing on what we won't have this Christmas, I am focusing on what we'll have.  I am feeling extremely blessed that even though our youngest son is currently stationed in Germany, he was able to get enough leave to come home for a few days.  Yes, life is good. It is very, very good indeed.

So the halls have been decked.  Cakes and cookies have been baked.  Grocery shopping has been done (and even though there will only be three of us here to eat it, I have enough food to feed a small army--because moms of large families simply don't know how to rein it in at the supermarket, even after the nest gets emptied).

I love decorating for Christmas--not just because the house looks so festive and beautiful, but because almost everything I put out each year has a special story behind it and invokes a precious memory.

I've always enjoyed poring over the Christmas editions of magazines like Victoria and English Home.  It's fun to see how other people decorate (and I usually wind up wishing I was a little better at it!).  But I thought I'd give you a mini-tour of how we do it up here at Chez Pearl.  It'll be like flipping through the glossy pages of the Christmas edition of a home decorating magazine...or not.  Anyway, here goes.

I did something different with the kitchen window this year.  I usually hang some sort of greenery over it; but instead I decided to hang something that reminds me of several of my daughters-in-law, who have a knack for creating visually appealing, Pinterest-worthy signs such as this one.  These little paper "chalkboard" flags are a departure for me, but I really like how this bunting looks.  It makes me happy!  (Perhaps I can chalk that up to the fact that "Be Merry" is the message I decided to write on the flags!)

Moving on to the dining room, one of my favorite rooms in our house.  It's oversized, which is perfect when your family is big and continually growing.

I've got the Christmas crackers out, in preparation for our Christmas Eve pizza party.  And did you notice that little lighted porcelain village piece there?  That's the bridge from "It's a Wonderful Life" (my favorite Christmas movie of all time), and if you look closely, you can see George Bailey standing by the railing.

I didn't put my other lighted village pieces out this year (Ralphie's house and school from "A Christmas Story").  It's not because I don't love them; it's just that I was starting to feel like maybe it's all a bit too much.  And yet yesterday when my husband's sister was telling me about another sister's absolutely spectacular Christmas décor, I fretted that mine was passable, but nothing to write home about.  So as usual, I'm caught between wanting to go big or go home, and wanting to keep things scaled back and modest.  (What are your thoughts on this?)

On a sideboard in the dining room is a collection of wonderfully detailed "Possible Dreams" Santas, mostly gifts from my beloved late mother-in-law.  The one in the green robe, second from the left, was actually a gift that my #2 son gave me one birthday.  He was only about nine years old at the time and conspired with his grandmother to procure it for me.  He had her pick it up when she was visiting with her daughters in VA, and he paid for it with his own money.  How sweet is that?

Speaking of my mother-in-law, in the dining room there is also a Nativity that she made in her ceramics class and gave to my husband and me on Christmas 1980, which was two days before our wedding.  She had fired it in antique white, but told me that I could change it if I wanted to.  In 1990, I finally got around to painting all the pieces.  Now I think of it as a project that she and I did together.

The living room feels almost like a little chapel to me at Christmastime, because of the oversized Advent Wreath and Nativity that dominate the space.

In the center of the Advent Wreath: a Nativity that our youngest son gave

me as a gift last Christmas.  (Those boys know what their mama likes.)

Aside from our main Nativity in the living room, on the shelf there is a large, stunning "Willow Tree" Nativity that sons #3 and 4 gave me several Christmases ago (and next to it, a lovely Santa that son #4 gave me another year).

The living room is also where we display our collection of hand-carved and hand-painted wooden Santas, which my husband brought back from trips to Moscow years ago.  My favorites are the ones with Nativity scenes painted on them.

You can't have too many Nativities--that's my motto!  So I was incredibly touched when our next-door-neighbor gave us one that had been cross-stitched by his mother (who was quite a prolific cross-stitcher, apparently).  When she died and he went through her things, he said he thought of us as soon as he saw it and thought it belonged with us.  This framed beauty has become the centerpiece of our family room mantle at Christmas.

Another thing that's going to become a staple of my family room décor from now on is this precious picture of son #2 dressed up as Santa, with his infant son wearing a "Santa's Helper" elf hat that his Papa and Grammy gave him.  Is that the cutest thing you've ever seen, or what?

So that's what Christmas looks like around our house.  Lots of Nativities.  Lots of Santas.  Lots of family photos.  And lots of great memories of loved ones--some who are still with us, and others who are missed, but never forgotten.

Okay, readers.  That's it for the tour.  May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be...

never mind, forget the white part.  As for me, I'll take a mild, GREEN Christmas this year--thank you very much!