How We Handle Christmas Gifts

Before I get started, Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception, dear readers.  

We have been blessed with 23 grandchildren, abundantly blessed--and I can't tell you the number of times people have asked me how we "do Christmas" with so many to buy for.  It's a complicated question, because we don't have a set routine; each year has tended to be slightly different, and plans keep evolving with the addition of each new little one.  I didn't make a decision the day I became a grandmother about how I was going to handle the Christmas gift-giving thing.  (You know, the way some parents decide from the outset to give each of their children three gifts, like the Wise Men; or they give four: "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.") Part of me wishes that I had been that forward-thinking and organized about it, but I wasn't.  So as I said, it's a tough question to answer.

If we had 10 grandkids or less, I imagine I might have a different philosophy about Christmas gift-giving. But there is no way that we can be those over-the-top generous grandparents, the ones who give motorized ride-on cars and such, when there are 23 of them.  That would bankrupt us.  Even the whole matching Christmas jammies rigamarole is not something we can pull off these days  I tried that once, about six or seven years ago.  I hunted down coordinating PJ's for all of them; but somehow we never even got the requisite picture of all the grandkids gathered together in their red-and-black buffalo checks.  So I haven't tried that since.

When our three oldest grandchildren, all girls, were young, I used to sew matching Christmas dresses for them; but things were simpler back then.  For a time, they were our only grandchildren! That changed fast! In 2020, I did manage to get the five youngest girls matching red-and-white plaid taffeta dresses, which I'd bought at an after-Christmas clearance sale in 2019, hoping the sizes would work out a year later. They did, and it was adorable.

How cute are these little gals?

But I've got 13 granddaughters now, ages one to 14, who are all shapes and sizes, and all particular about how they like to dress (or how their mommies like to dress them); so that sort of thing just isn't going to happen anymore. 

Anyhoo, I was reading Leila Lawler's most recent post over at Like Mother, Like Daughter, and I realized that in her, I have a kindred spirit.  She has 22 grandchildren and a limited budget, she loves to give gifts handmade with love, and she realizes that it is not up to her to fulfill her grandchildren's wildest dreams at Christmastime.  She says, "I give myself permission to step down from the job of fulfilling their Christmas dreams.  That's the parent's job, really.  You know what I mean: if the child has been longing for a bike or a doll, the parents know best what to get...I've done my part, however inadequately, when my own children were growing up."  Lawler says it so much better than I could, and I totally agree that although grandparents play a vital role in the lives of their grandchildren, giving them the bestest-ever gifts at Christmas does not need to be priority number one.  It's okay as a grandmother to, as she puts it, "just relax into the role of the loving figure who sent you some little toy that wasn't the be-all and end-all."  She doesn't stress about it; she says she just tries "to give one gift per grandchild that is something along these lines: handmade, whimsical, and/or relating to a particular interest of the child."

Although I admittedly sometimes let myself worry about whether I'm doing "enough," Lawler's wise words really do resonate with me. I actually think it's even okay for grandparent gifts to be the ones that get the heave-ho over the shoulder, the way Ralphie and Randy do with their socks in the movie A Christmas Story.  (LOL--that reminds me of two Christmases ago, our "beach towel Christmas."  Sometime I'll give you a good chuckle and tell you all about that one!)

Seriously, though, I don't believe that grandparents need to compete with Santa.  Now don't get me wrong: even though gift-giving isn't my first love language, I do love giving gifts.  It's just that I'm happiest when I have an idea for something I can make rather than buy.  And it's not about the money, really; it's more about wanting to figure out something personal and meaningful for the people who mean the most to me.  I am more apt to want to find a special wished-for toy for each grandchild on their birthdays, when it's all about him or her. But on Christmas, it's all about Jesus, and I feel like the gifts that Papa and I give don't need to make anyone's dreams come true.  I never received anything but clothes and books from my grandparents, and that was okay by me; it was Santa, and Mom and Dad, who stockpiled longed-for toys under the tree and filled my stocking with tiny treasures.

My husband's parents, who ended up with a whopping 32 grandchildren, got to the point where they just gave out crisp five dollar bills at Christmas, and then eventually ten dollar bills. It had just gotten too hard to do gifts for that many kids!  We're not quite there yet, but I can see that as a possibility for how we'll handle things down the road--adjusted for inflation, of course.  :)

So, how's it going to go this year, you ask?  For Christmas 2025, our main gift for each grandchild will be a Rosary handcrafted with love for them by their Grammy.  The ones for the girls are made of white pearls, with rose-shaped beads for the Our Fathers; the ones for the boys are made of blue and gold pearls (Notre Dame colors!), with football-shaped beads for the Our Fathers; and all of them have their names spelled out in letter beads.  I made these way back in the spring, when I got the idea.  I was too excited to wait!  (I do realize that I have some grandchildren who are too young to appreciate or take care of these Rosaries yet; but I wanted to make them for all 23 anyway.)

It's really going to be a handmade Christmas (yay!), because I also stitched up short capes for all 13 granddaughters (well, full disclosure: eight are finished, and I'm currently working on the last five). My youngest son's wife suggested this project to me, and I thought it was genius!  I had to purchase some lining fabric and some metal sew-on clasps, but the yards and yards of lovely velvet material came from my late mother-in-law's attic (adding some sentimental value to these garments).   I'm hoping to get pictures of the girls modeling them, and if so I'll share them here at the blog someday. 

I've been busy in my basement sewing room!

Girls like pretty clothes, so I can do this sort of thing for the granddaughters; but boys, not so much.   I used to sew a bit for my grandsons when they were little guys, rompers and such; but these days, I don't think that's the way to go.  When it comes to clothes, a team jersey or a Pokemon t-shirt might be a hit; but they all have plenty of those.  So the girls will get the capes with their Rosaries, and the big boys will get new footballs (cool ones with favorite team logos on them--I'm not a total Grinch!).  The boys who are too little to care about footballs will get trucks (again, not a Grinch!).

I might have thrown a few extra toys into the mix for two of our wee granddaughters, who are almost 3 and almost one; but they are the only grandchildren we won't see this Christmas season (they'll be out in Michigan with their other grandparents), so I think it's okay to spoil them just a tad. 

This is how we're doing things this Christmas; it all might look totally different next year, depending on circumstances.  But I'm thrilled that this one is going to be a mostly homemade Christmas.

To wrap this up, I don't really think it's necessary, or even a good idea, to try to spoil our grandkids too much with stuff--in general, not just at Christmastime.  Their Papa and I prefer to spoil them with our time and attention, which we give as generously and joyfully as we possibly can throughout the year.

And now, down to the sewing room!

Catching Up Before Christmas (Thanksgiving 2025)

We'll already be lighting our second purple Advent candle tomorrow, and I haven't even gotten around to blogging about Thanksgiving yet.  So I thought I'd document that celebration before the Christmas season starts to get really busy!

We had 25 people at our house on Thanksgiving: 12 adults and 13 children.  Joining us were sons #3, #4, and #5 and their combined 11 offspring, and also son #4's in-laws (his wife Braveheart's mom and dad, her brother, his wife, and their two small children). 

We tried something different this year and decided that along with the turkey, we would roast two large chickens.  We bought some plump, pasture-raised Thanksgiving chickens at the farm where we pick up our raw milk every week.  (Yes!  In our old age, my hubby and I have gotten a bit crunchy!  But raw milk has so many health benefits.  If you don't believe me, google it!)  The amazing thing was that we got almost as much meat from a 9-pound chicken as we did from the much bigger 20-pound turkey!  And I don't know about you, but I think turkey drumsticks are so not worth it.  They're always too tough.  But those chicken drumsticks were tender and juicy and thoroughly enjoyed by one of our grandsons.  I mixed the turkey and chicken drippings together and the gravy was abundant, which is a good thing; because according to my boys, gravy is the most important item on the Thanksgiving menu.  And that gravy was amazing--if I do say so myself. (I rarely brag about my cooking, which almost always falls short of my expectations; so hearing me say that is akin to spotting a unicorn.)

What a joy it was to have son #5's little fam with us for the week!

Most years, I admittedly try to do too much.  I actually enjoy all the prep work and planning, and just having the privilege of putting on this holiday feast for my kids and grandkids.  But finally this year, I took the pack off (partially) and let others do most of the side dishes.  We provided the turkey and chicken, gravy, stuffing, and assorted beverages.  I made a double-batch of caramel brownies and a cheesecake for dessert.  But the other gals involved brought the rest of the yumminess, including garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese casserole, spinach and pasta casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls, pumpkin pie, ice cream, and hors d'oeuvres.  Son #5 and his family were with us for the week, and his wife Babisiu* made a scrumptious sweet potato dish.  So as you can see, I had it relatively easy this year.  And the food was so good.  (I probably enjoyed it even more because someone other than myself had made so much of it!)

BTW, I always cook my birds the day before.  After they've cooled, my husband carves them and puts them in casserole dishes, and we pour a generous amount of chicken or turkey broth in there to keep them moist while they're stored in the fridge overnight.  Then on the big day, all you have to do is warm up the casserole dishes.  Easy peasy!  The meat is always so juicy and tender, too, and doing it this way saves so much stress and makes it so that you can relax a bit and actually enjoy the day itself.  At least, that's how it is for me.  (Were you looking for advice about how to cook your turkey?  If so, you're welcome.  If not, sorry for sounding like I've got it all together.  I don't, believe me.)

For years, we've been using these disposable chafing dishes for our big parties to keep all the food warm. As the festivities were going on, my husband and I were discussing how maybe it was time to get some really good, heavy-duty, stainless steel ones.  We host big groups enough, we reasoned, that it would be well worth the money to invest in them.

 

Well, at one point I looked over at him and he was on his phone, and I asked him if he was ordering them right that minute.  And he was!  Mid-party, he was shopping!  He is so funny.  While he was on Amazon ordering the chafing dishes, he also ordered 36 place settings of inexpensive caterer-style stainless silverware, so that we never again have to purchase plasticware for our family gatherings.  No more aluminum chafing dishes, no more paper plates, no more plasticware.  We're getting serious here.

Picture-taking was not high on my priority list that day, but here's a snapshot of the kids' table.

And here's a sub-par pic of the adults' table.  Excuse the terrible lighting--someone should have turned off those lamps, I guess. 

So that was our Thanksgiving.  And now, it's on to Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. My favorite.  God bless you, dear readers!  And Happy St. Nicholas Day!

*I gave my D-I-L this Polish term of endearment because my husband and I took a Christmas trip to Poland with her before she married our son, when he was on an Army deployment over there.  I just discovered that it means grandmother--which, as you can imagine, is not what I thought it meant!  I might have to give her a new blog handle!

That Dad Life (And Go Irish!)

So before I get to blogging about our 2025 Thanksgiving celebration here at Casa Papa and Grammy, I wanted to finish this post that I started a while back and never finished.  I seem to be a day late and a dollar short a lot at this blog in recent years; but better late than never, right?  So here we go:

 

There are few things more delightful for a mother (or a father, of course) to behold than the sight of her sons killing it in the fatherhood department.  Just the fact that my husband and I only have five offspring of our own, and between them they have 23 children (so far!), tells you all you need to know about how our boys have wholeheartedly embraced their God-given, sacred, and vital vocation. I can't tell you the joy it brings us to know that they all wanted big families.  It makes us feel (or hope, anyway) that this means they have happy memories of growing up in our home, in a tight-knit pack of five brothers.

They take their role as fathers, as the loving leaders of their households, seriously.  That much is clear.

THEY ARE PASSING THE FAITH ON TO THEIR CHILDREN:

A couple of weeks ago, we were at son #3’s house, celebrating the 8th birthday of one of his daughters. After we had the cake and presents, he gathered his five kids in the family room to say their daily decade of the Rosary together.  And afterward, he had children draped all over him as a chapter was read aloud from a kids’ book of Bible stories (another nightly tradition of theirs that follows the Rosary).

THEY LOVE SPREADING HOLIDAY CHEER IN THEIR HOMES:

The very same night we were over at son #3's house for the birthday celebration,  son #5, our baby, took it upon himself to deck the halls of the house he shares with his wife and two wee daughters.  To our family text stream, he posted this photo of his youngest (also the youngest of our 23 grandchildren) in his arms, entranced by the glowing Christmas tree.  I absolutely love this image; it looks like art—I wish I could paint it!

THEY GIVE THEIR KIDS SPECIAL ONE-ON-ONE TIME (AND ALSO SHARE THEIR LOVE OF NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL WITH THEM):

In this case, make that ONE-ON-TWO time.  Here is a picture of our #4 son, a father of four, with his two 8-year-old boys (identical twins as well as triplets, along with a sister) on a road trip with Papa and Grammy out to the University of Notre Dame the Friday before Thanksgiving, to attend the ND v. Syracuse game on Saturday, November 22.  We left for South Bend early Friday morning.

And we got there in time to do a little bit of campus sight-seeing late that afternoon.

What a thrill for Papa and Grammy to share this core memory experience
with these beloved grandsons and their father.

On Saturday morning, we had breakfast at the locally famous Pancake House (the very same one that my husband used to frequent way back in the late 70's when he was a student out there).

That afternoon, these lucky lads got to see the luck of the Irish in action: an epic 70-7 win, which as their dad joked, "set them up for a lifetime of unrealistic expectations."  This is undoubtably true; they may never see such a game again.  Before this trip, they weren't really football fans yet; but after this incredible experience (where they got to sit in club seats up there with all the beautiful people, thanks to the generosity of my husband's siblings, who have club tickets they weren't using that weekend!), we think they might be joining the ranks of die-hard Notre Dame fans.

As an added bonus, our oldest son, a pilot who lives and works in WI,  flew his boss in for the game.  He was able to sit with his younger brother and two nephews for the first half; but since the Irish had things well in hand from the get-go, by halftime the boss had had enough of watching them manhandle the Orangemen (it was already 49-0!), and our son had to leave to fly him back home.  (Actually, lots of people left early.  So my husband and I, who were originally sitting in a different section, got to sit with son #4 and his boys for the second half, in two seats that had been left empty behind them!) 

Brother time for sons #1 and #4.

Enjoying all the pre-game feasting and fun up in the club.

On Sunday, we attended Mass at the glorious Basilica of the Sacred Heart, and then we stopped by the Grotto to say some prayers to the Lady who lives there in a lofty niche in the stones.  She's the Lady who also lives atop the iconic Golden Dome.  And She's the Lady who watches over that university named for Her with motherly concern and undying love, I am quite convinced.  (Love thee, Notre Dame!)  We did some more campus exploration, which was made all the more enjoyable because of the milder-than-usual November temps!  The boys even got to visit the dorm that their dad used to call home. After our wonderful whirlwind weekend, early Monday morning we hopped in the car for the return trip to VA.

Our youngest son and his wife and two daughters had arrived in VA to spend Thanksgiving week with us the Sunday night that we were out in South Bend (oh how I'd love to be in two places at once sometimes!). Fortunately, they were able to stay at son #3's house on Sunday and Monday nights and get in some good bonding time (of both the brother and cousin variety) before they moved in with us on Tuesday.   They did not leave to head back to TN until Sunday, and it was truly a joy to have them with us.  I started missing them the moment they drove away!

Next time, I'll fill you in on our Thanksgiving festivities, in all their chaotic glory!  In the meantime...Go Irish!