The Gift of Hospitality

I get such joy from opening up my house up to others.  I think that's actually one of my favorite things in the world to do--to play hostess.

Showing hospitality to others is kind of what I live for...well, that's mostly true, but not totally.  [Gulp.] Time for a reality check.

Opening up my home when I'm just being "Mom" and "Grammy"-- that's what I live for, and that's easy. Playing the more demanding role of plain old "Hostess" is a tad harder for me.

When it comes to hosting family events, I am all in, all the time.  Even when it's our whole gang--five married sons and the 22 kids they have between them--I am never daunted by the idea of having them all descend upon us, though it is undoubtedly chaotic.  I love to cook for them.  I love making pre-party menu lists, setting up the buffet and/or dining table, putting up party decorations if the occasion calls for it, and the whole nine yards.  My husband and I seriously can't ever get enough of watching our grown-up boys interacting with each other, hearing their laughter in the house again (our favorite sound); it's wonderful seeing our girls, who get along so beautifully, swapping mom stories; it's a hoot seeing the little cousins chasing each other around the house or the yard, or playing together in our basement playroom.  It's loud and crazy and so much fun for us.  Being down here in VA, where we live near three of our sons and 14 of our grandkids (and we're actually centrally located, almost exactly midway between the two boys who live south of us and the one who lives north), our house is often the meeting place for Pearl holidays and family get-togethers.

But since moving here in 2017, we haven't played host and hostess to too many non-family members.  We had the pastor of our sweet little parish over once for lunch--and a house blessing--a few years ago.  We had our good friends (whom we met at church--natch!), T and R, over for a nice steak dinner a few months ago.  But as I said, when we're playing host and hostess, the guests are usually named Pearl.

Last week, on a whim one day we decided to invite a nice woman whom we see at daily Mass to come to our house for coffee afterward on Friday.  We chat with her often on our way out of church, but we never see her anywhere else.  This darling lady, who is about 20 years older than we are, has been widowed for many years and lives alone.  We just thought it would be nice to have the opportunity to really get to know her and to make her feel special.  On Thursday night, I was already getting excited about having company the next morning, so of course I got the table all set up in anticipation.  This was going to be a very casual affair, but I still wanted it to be nice.

My initial menu plan was simple: coffee, a bowl of mixed fruit, and some pastries (store-bought mini-muffins, some delectable little caramel-iced cakes from our town's popular local bakery, and some leftover banana bread I'd made for my hubby).

My husband and I drove to church in separate cars, because although we usually stay after Mass to do the Divine Office prayers with some of the other parishioners, I knew I was going to want to go right back home and get things prepared.  Plus, he was the sacristan that day and was going to have to stay to clean up, and our guest had to do some work involving the altar flowers as well. So I went home ahead of them--to fill the cream and sugar dishes, to brew a fresh pot of coffee, to pour a lemon-sugar glaze over the fruit, and to slice the cakes and put out the goodies.   

It was a treat to use my three-tiered dessert tray, a gift from son #2 and his wife, Ginger.  She found the blue-and-white plates (my weakness!) at the thrift, and he drilled the holes in them and added the hardware.  I would love this piece if it was store-bought, but it means so much more to me that it was designed and homemade by two of my favorite people.  Such a thoughtful gift!

I decided at the last minute to make some mini-quiches, stopping on the way home to get some scallions at the grocery store because we were out.  To make these quiches, I flattened slices of white bread with a rolling pin, cut out little circles with a biscuit cutter, buttered the bottoms, and put them in a muffin pan to make the "crusts." Then I added diced scallions and grated Swiss cheese, and finally poured an egg and cream mixture into the muffin cups until they were almost full, and baked at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Luckily I had plenty of time to get them made before my husband and our sweet guest got to the house.

I was able to use another gift from son #2 and his wife for our little after-Mass get-together: a handy thermos coffee pot.  Now that I have a Chemex pour-over coffee maker, I use it pretty much every day.  I used to rely on a Keurig and brew my cups one at a time; now I make a six-cup pot first thing in the morning and transfer the coffee from the glass Chemex carafe to the thermos, where it stays hot for hours. (I don't know about you, but for me, just about any time of day is a good time for a cup of coffee!  #addictedtocoffee)

Our church friend stayed for about two hours, and we just sat at the dining room table talking that whole time. There was not one lull in the conversation!  It was so enjoyable, and I'm now inspired to invite some of the other nice folks we see every day at Mass over for coffee.

I'm a rather shy person--an introvert, a homebody, a reader, a lover of peace and quiet and solitude--and I'm not naturally gifted at making friends.  Being open to sharing my home with others outside my comfortable circle of Pearls (or should I say string of Pearls?!) is not really one of my charisms--that is to say, gifts given to us from God that enable us to live out the Gospel.  If all I had for friends were the members of my beloved family, I would be perfectly content.  But I'm determined to work at developing this charism of hospitality.  

The wonderful book Theology of Home* has a whole chapter devoted to hospitality.  This quote in that chapter spoke to me: "In opening our homes to others, we allow ourselves to detach from our relatively comfortable, safe, orderly ways so that love, which by its nature is not confining or insular, can spread out beyond these walls and these inhabitants."  Also this: "Hospitality is rooted in kindness--not a kindness that is mere politeness (though that is important) but a kindness that actively seeks to fulfill a need of another unprompted."  What lovely sentiments, so eloquently expressed!  And I'm taking them to heart. I'll let you know how it goes!

Have a wonderful weekend, dear readers.  One filled with faith and family--and friends, too.

*I actually have a copy of this book signed by one of the authors, Carrie Gress.  She gave a talk to a group of women at a church hall here in VA a few years back, and I attended the event with my daughter-in-law, Ginger.  (Gress is a phenomenal speaker!)