Some thoughts on Modesty, and a Book Recommendation

Recently, I was traveling by airplane down to VA--something I do a lot these days, since I have two boys who have settled there with their wives, at least for the time being, and another who will also be settling there very soon (his fiancée is from VA, not far from DC).  The purpose of this trip was to attend a "gender reveal" party for the baby our third-born son and his wife will be welcoming to the world in October.

In case you didn't read the post where I let you in on what color the icing inside the cupcakes was, here you go:

It's a boy!  After three utterly darling granddaughters, we are now going to have a wee lad in the mix as well!  A grandson to carry on the Pearl name.

Anyway, so I was heading down for this sweet and exciting event, and while I was going through the security line at the airport, I couldn't stop staring at this twenty-something gal who had chosen an extremely bizarre traveling outfit to wear that morning.  This lucky young girl was built like your basic Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.  (And by the way, moms of boys: we always threw out those issues before the boys could see them; they may have looked at them elsewhere, but I hope not.  Because I think they’re almost pornographic these days!)   You know the type: slim yet well-endowed on top, with a Coppertone tan and long, bleach-blond hair.  She had the most enviable midriff--and I know this because it was exposed for all the world to see/ogle.  Her tank top was tight, low-cut, and only went down as far as the top of her ribcage.  She was wearing a knit maxi skirt, which is quite a modest choice, yes?  No, not in this case!  The skirt was incredibly tight, just like the tank top, and she wore it slung low--below her belly button, like a bikini bottom. 

Anyway, this girl had the kind of body that makes a 55-year-old grandma think with a touch of sadness, “Wow, I remember when I had a young body like that.”

Wait a minute; I didn’t.  Even when it was young, my body never looked like this girl’s.

But even when my body was a lot prettier than it is now, I always had a natural urge to cover it.  I always liked winter best, when piling on the layers was the way to go. I couldn't walk in a one-piece bathing suit without a beach towel tied around my waist.  I could never, in a million years, have gone out in public in the get-up this girl was wearing--at the beach or elsewhere.

If I found myself glancing in her direction (if only because I was thinking that I'd like to run over there and throw a blanket over her shoulders!), who else do you think was giving her the once-over?  What was her purpose in dressing like this for an airplane trip?  Was she hoping to inspire the males waiting in line behind her with impure thoughts?  I'm sure she wasn't, but when young ladies dress in such a manner, they should realize that this is exactly what happens.  And if they don't think it's going to happen, they're just kidding themselves.

It didn't surprise me at all that an older guy in front of me had his head on a swivel.  He couldn’t stop sneaking peeks at this scantily-clad goddess; and there didn’t seem to be any spouse traveling with him, so he could enjoy the view as much as he wanted.  And boy, he did.  (And I doubt his thoughts about this young lady were of the chaste or fatherly variety.)

I think today more than ever young girls need to get the message that they can be attractive, fashionably dressed, and pretty--but still be modest!  That it's okay to want to look beautiful--in fact, it's part of a woman's nature to have that desire.  But we can teach them how to accentuate their natural attributes and dress properly for their individual body types without sacrificing their purity in the process.  We can remind them that dressing in an immodest manner can attract the wrong kind of attention from the opposite sex.

Having been blessed with five sons and no daughters, my husband and I never had the challenge of helping a teenaged girl to navigate the minefields of adolescence--and I think in many ways, that would have been tougher than it was with our boys.

But if you, dear reader, are currently (or will one day be) raising daughters, you might want to pick up a copy of this wonderful book, All Things Girl, Truth for Teens.  Co-authored by Cheryl Dickow, Peggy Bowes, Heather Renshaw, and Kayla Brandon and published by Bezalel Books, it contains a gold mine of practical tips, vital information, and inspirational reading.  (This book normally sells for $5.99 on Kindle, but if you order within the next four days, you can get it for $0.99!)

In this 2014 second edition (the first edition came out in 2009),
Finding Grace is mentioned on p. 142
as inspirational reading for teenaged girls!

This marvelous book, which is written in a conversational style that makes material that might otherwise be too dry very entertaining and compelling, contains chapters on a number of subjects, including Relationships, Influences from the Feminist Movement, Exploring the "ME" in Social Media, Fashion, Skin, Hair and Make-Up, and others.  There are so many nuggets of wisdom and practical advice within the pages of this book, and for a Catholic parent, so many beautifully-worded inspirational passages, such as this one on modesty: "Every girl, every woman is created with a very special gift.  This gift is the ability to carry a life within their bodies!  Our Lady is called the Ark of the Covenant because she carried Jesus in her womb.  She is your role model in the ways in which you want to live as a daughter of the King.  Because of the priceless gift of your womb, your midriff should be protected and hidden.  A way to do that is to cover and veil this area.  It is sacred.  This is why it is good to avoid two-piece swimsuits out in public--and veil the precious gift of your womanhood."  This is a book I wish the gal in the too-revealing outfit at the airport that day had read!  This is a book that I want my granddaughters to read when they are entering puberty.

Here is a great passage about chastity: "You are the keeper of your 'secret garden' and only you allow entrance by your invitation and the only one who should be allowed to enter is your husband, for he is the only one worthy.  When a woman wears suggestive clothing she is giving the message to men that she will give herself to...anyone who will give her attention.  Modesty--veiling what should remain hidden--will reveal to a man the woman's dignity.  He will see how she sees herself."

And one about finding a future husband: "Women dream of being pursued by a worthy man.  God has a plan for every young woman's life.  Let Him bring you a worthy suitor.  Trust that if you are being called to the vocation of marriage, God will provide you with a worthy and suitable husband as long as you do your part, which is to uphold your own dignity and value." 

All Things Girl, Truth for Teens will inspire your teen to eat healthily, exercise regularly, accentuate her natural beauty in a modest and appropriate way, be a good friend, date the right type of boy, avoid the traps set by the world regarding pre-marital sex and contraception, imitate the saints, and most of all, to appreciate and value the God-given gift of her femininity.   I highly recommend this book--it would make great summer reading for your daughters and granddaughters.

Now head on over to Jessica's for more summer reading recommendations.